IF: Little Things

"You reckon you might have made those arm holes a little big?"

(In response to the competitive and sometimes catty underworld of child birthing...)

Micron Pen, Watercolor, Illustration board
Width 10 in.
Height 8 in.

IF: Canned

"Rumor has it someone in the marketing department is going to get canned tomorrow...say Bill, don't you work in the marketing department?"

Adobe Photoshop
Width 8 in.
Height 8 in.

IF: Eelectricity

Chet suddenly realized the usual "There just isn't any spark" breakup routine wasn't going to work with this one...

Adobe Photoshop
Width 8 in.
Height 8 in.

IF: Theory

"Well that's my theory about what happened to the cake...if you've got something better I'd be happy to hear you out..."

Adobe Photoshop
Width 8 in.
Height 8 in.

IF:Blanket

At 1:23 AM Florence made a blanket statement about their relationship...

Adobe Photoshop
Height 8 in.
Width 8 in.

IF: (Grow)

Always make sure to address personal issues before you grow up...otherwise you could be running around in tights at odd hours and needing lots of therapy...

Ball Point Pen, Cachet Sketchpaper
Width 10 in.
Height 10 in.

IF: (REJECTION)

Looks like it's time to recalibrate the machine again...

Micron Pen, Watercolor, Cachet Sketchpaper
Width 10 in.
Height 10 in.

IF: New (NEIGHBOR), The Dung Beetles

"That's gonna lower property values..."

Micron Pen, Watercolor, Cachet Sketchpaper
Width 10 in.
Height 10 in.

IF: (POLAR)

Schizoology Quarterly clearly states that Bi-Polar Bears are easily recognizable by their distinctive markings...namely a straight-jacket...

Micron Pen, Watercolor, Cachet Sketchpaper
Width 10 in.
Height 10 in.

IF: (GREEN)

"Well...you look just a little green around the gills..."

Micron Pen, Watercolor, Cachet Sketchpaper
Width 10 in.
Height 10 in.

IF: (HIDE)

After seeing the expression on Melville's face, Mother rabbit quickly realized she needed to switch from 'tan your hide' to 'spank your britches' when trying to get him to clean his room...

Micron Pen, Watercolor, Illustration Board
Height 11.5 in.
Width 7.5 in.

IF: High (WIRED)

Freehand
Height 11 in.
Width 8.5 in.

IF: (SPROUT)

How farmers know when it's time to retire...

Micron Pen, Cachet Sketchpaper
Height 10 in.
Width 10 in.

IF: (SUGAR) Crash

Micron Pen, Watercolor, Cachet Sketchpaper
Height 10 in.
Width 10 in.

IF: (GRAVITY)

It had been a great...even fun...day at work...but upon returning home to find his favorite pet expired, Death finally understood the gravity of his job....

Graphite, Watercolor, Illustration Board
Height 15 in.
Width 10.5 in.

IF: (PHOENIX)

The molting of the phoenix is only slightly less spectacular than its rising from the ashes...

Prismacolor, Illustration Board
Length 11 in.
Height 8.5 in.

IF: (BUZZZZ)

Arthur thought the buzz at his chest was his pacemaker malfunctioning, resulting in a call to glory...in reality it was the buzz from a pager he had forgotten in his shirt pocket, heralding a call from his wife to pick up a jar of fiber pills on his way home...

Prismacolor, Illustration Board
Length 10.5 in.
Height 8.5 in.

IF: (Eighties)

Bambi had the speedometer pegged into the high eighties when she caught a glimpse of her husband picking his nose...perfect time for a brake check...

Graphite, Cachet Sketch Paper
Height 10 in.
Width 10 in.

IF: (MASK)

Uncle Melvin smelled so bad that he wore a skunk around his neck to try and mask the odor...maybe he should've tried for two...

Prismacolor, Illustration Board
Height 14 in.
Width 10 in.

IF: (Help)

A public restroom, an empty roll of toilet paper, a mime, and a desperate cry for help...(or 'why mimes should always check to make sure their paperwork can be completed before they make a big commitment')...
Micron Pen, Photoshop
Height 11 in.
Width 8.5 in.